THE PRICE OF PARTNERSHIP OF LIFETIME...!

Marriages are made in heaven, that’s what is generally said, but in our country they usually are made in match-making bureaus or portals. Love-based marriages do happen in India but it is not a usual norm. It is an accepted fact that a person's family will have the most important role, usually more than the individual himself in choosing his/her partner. Here in India more than the union of two souls, marriage is considered to be a blend of two families. Potential brides and grooms are scrutinized as if they are applying for a job and then shortlisted like interview applicants. The funniest part is that the person applying for the job has to indirectly pay an incentive instead of getting one, I hope you understand what am I referring to : The most common and illogical phenomenon in India,  DOWRY.

                 

It might sound normal to most but millions of brides till date are harassed mentally , sexually and emotionally and sometimes forced to give away their lives in name of our ‘so-called tradition’, Dowry.                         

                         

Now what is dowry???

We all know what dowry is : A helpless father paying for his daughter’s marriage in cash or kind either on demand of her would-be husband’s family or in order to prove his love for his daughter and increase his goodwill in the eyes of the society.                                              

                   

Is the bridegroom jobless, homeless or carless ? Is he not capable enough to satisfy his partner’s needs? This concept is more of a business alliance between two families where one family pays the other so that their daughter stays happy. Isn’t this completely indebting the girl’s father, first he gives the most precious part of his life, his daughter and along with that pays for his daughter’s happiness. Is this fair? Isn’t giving away your child enough for a marriage? Is this what marriages really are for? Are we buying love?

Then if we think over, this is one of the major reasons for female foeticide too, because a poor man cannot afford to get his daughter married and make her happy and hence, he chooses to kill the girl child.

Marriages are always projected like a business deal. In most of the marriages, the bridegroom does not want any cash or gift , he is captivated alone by the idea of getting his life partner but the groom's family is in high hopes of dowry . In some cases, it's  like an auction of the groom. Whosoever pays more will get the groom. It's not about how compatible the bride and the groom are but more about the bank balance bride’s father has. Many parents think that if they won’t give dowry, their daughters will be tortured , killed or hanged to death. So in hopes of a happy married life for their daughter, they end up disbursing savings of their lifetime . But do they end up being happy?

In most cases, it’s a NO. The groom’s family is never satisfied. Their never ending desires soar to new heights. When the bride’s family  is unable to cope up with the ever so increasing demands of the groom’s family, there begins a gruesome tale of torture.

                       

I am sorry to say that, this practice is still prevalent in our MODERN generation too. We live in the 21st century, we claim to be “modern” and consider ourselves broad-minded. But when it comes to marriage , it is supposed to be a big fat fancy wedding which burns a hole in one’s pocket.

It is high time, we need to change our outlook and re-think of what standard we are setting for our future generations. Only if we take a deep insight into our practices, we would know how narrow-minded we are. Upper class families are considered to be more educated than lower class but the practice is more regnant in upper class families .So, basically education has barely led to any contribution in terms of change in our society. In fact , the dowry system has added to crimes against women ranging  from emotional abuse ,injuries  to deaths. Despite of strict laws against this evil practice dowry ,there are huge number of cases still present in our society just because, Indian judicial system highly lacks in giving justice and this justice can be exchanged with bribery of these rich conservative families. 

We, who represent the current and the future of our country, need to raise a voice against dowry, in order to abolish this hateful practice and let marriage be an act of love and purity instead of greed and money.

What do you think we can really do in order to improve the mentality of our nation? Also, how about we the generation of today, work on this idea and start improving the thought pattern of India.

       

DO WE NEED TO CHANGE?

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the delay but was searching for something really powerful to come up with. And it happened. Yesterday only I saw many of my facebook friends sharing a video so I decided to watch it maybe just to break the shackles of boredom. Let me tell you  the video I am talking about is the same that is doing rounds on the world wide web. And if by the slightest chance you have no clue what I am talking about then please do watch this documentary by bbc “INDIA’S DAUGHTER”.

16^th December 2012, a girl named   Jyoti Singh (  to whom we referred as NIRBHAYA), almost a doctor, decided to watch a movie with her friend and I guess that was her ONLY mistake. Watching a movie with a friend (of the opposite sex) in India is a crime. If a girl is found walking on the streets at night she will be considered loose, a girl wearing a dress is considered available, a girl hanging around with guys is surely a slut but a boy having multiple girlfriends is still considered a DUDE. That’s the mindset of our society.

 It took the government merely days to put an Fir against the famous AIB roast but it took more than a year to punish the accused of the nirbhaya rape case. And it’s not just about this case but according to the reports there is a rape case in India every 20mins and most of them go unreported. Not just rapes but acid attacks, domestic violence everything infuriates me and every second women in our country. People say  you  gotta be the change you wish to see in the world. But in a country like ours the victim is forced to live an isolated life coz she has been touched by another man and nobody would marry her and the accused is set free as if it’s his birth right  to rape women. Why do we not hear about men being raped or sexually harassed? Has anyone ever thought that way? Nobody I believe.  Then  why women?  maybe because they are physically weak, maybe that’s the part of our culture to suppress a woman for pleasure. Women were and are still just considered as sex objects by majority of men in our country not just the illiterate but also the most educated (which includes the honourable defence lawyers of the rape case).

The aim of this post is not to highlight the nirbhaya rape case as enough has already been said about it in the last two years but its an urge to the masses to change their way of thinking. Its all in your mind. People say girls should stop wearing short dresses or revealing clothes but even a 2year old girl gets raped  in our country. Is this because she was trying to seduce the man?  No its because she is a girl and she is meant to be treated like this. When a girl is raped or harassed, she is asked to stay mum so that her family’s name does not get hampered. But what about her inner being? Girls,we need to raise voice against all the atrocities and sufferings and not choosing to go by the monotony. We are not weak rather we are much stronger than the men around. Its just we gotta prove them wrong.

It’s the need of the hour to not just change the mindsets of the people but also raise voice against the illogical system of our society. It’s either now or never.

DILLI MERI JAAAN....!!!!!

DELHI....what do I say about this place.

Being born and brought up here , I have an obvious proclivity towards this place. Delhi is a lunatic city. There is never a dull moment and there is always something to see or do,even if it's simply watching the neighbour squabble with the sabzi-walla about the price of vegetables . People are out on the streets eating, working, and just generally loitering at all hours of the day and night. The air itself says something which can't be put down to words .It is a city that will pay you a million for your sweat and 50 cents for your soul.

Delhi is a city you'll either love or hate. There's no middle way. It  is the city of  the extremists whether you talk about the people or the climate it is always poles apart. Since Delhi is a home to people from every culture, background and state you will never find any regional language dominating the other. You won't find  people communicating in Hindi or English but HINGLISH. Delhiites tend to stand out of the crowd because of their typical DILLI slang .

Now,  the FOOD that defines this city . From aloo tikki to gol gappas , the street food is the USP of Delhi. It is worth even the threat of Delhi belly .Moreover, the excitement begins months before  the big fat Indian weddings and persists even longer. Also, the city never sleeps ! It has something to offer to every set of people. However, there is no defined boundary in the city ,but the food and culture bifurcates the place into two halves, SOUTH DELHI AND NORTH DELHI. This contrast  is the highlight of this insane hub ,the way south has all the posh bungalows ,extravagant malls and shopping hubs, north popularly called "OLD DELHI" has chandni chowk-the oldest hub of shopping, the paranthe wali galli and famous roadside food which is a major tourist attraction. Also ,the infrastructure makes people experience the best of both the worlds.

There is no end to my love for this crazy city kyunki

YEH DELHI HAI MERE YAAR.....

DEATH OF HUMANITY

DEATH OF HUMANITY

16 December 2014, I was driving to my workplace and all I could hear on the radio  was people mourning  about the heinous incident that took place 2 years ago on the same date. As we all know "THE NIRBHAYA RAPE CASE".

Two long years have passed by, I want to ask u all: Do u see an effective change around? Do you feel safer? Has your country become a better place to live in?

Personally, I have not witnessed much change around me. Rather, the rape cases have increased a myriad number. The no. of molestations and eve teasers has also multiplied. The terror in women all over the country has reached the boiling point.  

This day, that year, humanity was questioned and now it has been killed FOREVER . Yes, I am talking about the Peshawar attack where the children went to school and never came back.

We've always believed that jingoism has led to such brutal crimes, but this incident has proved that even terrorism has no religion.

Only they would know what they have fetched by killing those innocent souls. What memories will these young minds cherish about their own home country?

A small boy when asked to narrate the incident to a reporter, he said, "One day Inshallah, I am going to kill these bastards for attacking us. I will shoot them down? What wrong have we done?"  

So what we conclude from the above episode.

What I see is that more than moaning about the death of his fellow classmates, his blood is boiling seeking vengeance. This is nothing but the harbinger of terrorism in it deepest form.

As they say, SMALLEST COFFINS ARE THE HEAVIEST.

It’s the need of the hour that all of us leaving behind cast, creed and religion should join hands to curb terrorism from its roots.

"Some Wounds Don't Heal"

Child abuse, not only a physical or sexual but an emotional harassment of a child , is the most recent crime that has taken a toll all over the world.

How can a person with a sane
mind be so ruthless and 
inhuman to a child? How can a person stoop so low as to not spare a child who is considered to be so pure, so godlike?

In most countries especially India people were not and are still not aware of such an act. Such cases are mostly suppressed by families because  they generally involve relatives or friends associated , and in some cases the family knowingly tries to avoid action because of the societal pressure. Child abuse can occur at home , or in the organisations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse : neglect , physical abuse , psychological or emotional abuse and sexual abuse. Child abuse leads to lack of trust-building and can create relationship difficulties in children . They get trouble regulating their emotions and tend to become an abuser when they grow up because they have faced brutal situations in their childhood.

It is high time we realize that this is  the biggest offence that can be committed in this world where humanity still exists.
Children must be made aware to protect themselves and act in the required way. You can become aware of child abuse by recognizing these signs in your children like unexplained injuries , fear of going home, changes in eating, sleeping disorder, changes in school performance, inappropriate sexual behaviour . In the last decade, Bollywood movies like PAGE 3, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE ,HIGHWAY highlighted this issue effectively leaving a marked influence on the audience.

Also children going through this should be given special attention n counselling so as to overcome their fears and live a happy n free-spirited life. 

In 1996, CHILDLINE INDIA FOUNDATION (CIF) launched CHILDLINE, the country's first toll-free tele-helpline for street children in distress.
CHILDLINE 1098 SERVICE is a service initiated by this foundation so as to help children in the need of the hour.

Online Shopping-A boon or a bane?

We are back with our new post and the thought seems to be quiet perplexing.

If our ancestors were to wake up after their long sleep of centuries, they would be amazed to see the world. The advancement in science and technology has shrunk the world into a small city. With a click of fingers we can communicate with our friends and relatives putting up a thousand miles away from us. The world has become a rat race where everyone is trying to move ahead of the other. With our oh-so-heavy schedules, we want everything at our doorstep. It saves time, fuel ,energy and it is easy to search the merchandise you want to buy .Therefore, online shopping proves to be the ultimate solution. With the increasing workload and insatiable greed for riches, nobody has the time to go out in the markets, search different shops for different brands and shop. Online shopping proves to be a blessing in disguise. It offers you an interesting and easy way to shop without wasting much time, money and effort. And yes the best part is that it is available 24*7 to our convenience. It not just provides a platform for shopping for oneself but also gifting presents to our friends and relatives residing in different parts of the world. It all began with electronics but now you can find everything online ranging from books, gadgets, medicines to ties, suits, sarees. Thus, it stands as a comprehensive shopping destination to one and all. With unreal discount schemes and cash on delivery, online shopping attracts a large number of people. And the result is an exponential increase in the number of customers all across the world. Till now, online  shopping  seems to be utopian with no drawbacks encountered.

But just like a coin,online shopping also has two sides. Now let's explore the other side.Being a shopaholic myself, I keep on ordering stuff online but unfortunately I rarely get satisfied with the products. Though most of the websites have speedy deliveries but they lack in achieving the quality standards. Most of the times we do not get what is shown in the websites . Moreover,the

refund policy is just namesake, there is no cash back as such but a lucrative scheme to bring more customers back to their portal.Moreover,the discounts offered are recovered in the name of shipping and handling charges leaving the customer with no benefit. When you are shopping online , unless you are purchasing from a well known e-retailer ,you really don't know who you are doing business with. Anybody can operate an e-store -but not everyone is honest and reputable.Online security concerns can certainly be an important element when selecting an e-retailer. Sometimes it is the kids who are ordering stuff so there is lack of credibility .I think there should be an age limit for direct access to such sites.

In the end, it's up to you to decide if shopping online is in your best interests. It's likely that - for some types of purchases - shopping online makes more sense than purchasing locally, but that the opposite is true for others.

The fact that online shopping is gaining importance simply means that consumers today have more choices available to them than in past decades. Scrutinize your options carefully so you can be sure that you're making sage, informed purchasing decisions that meet your needs and that you feel comfortable with.

THE INDIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM

I am 21 and a student like most of you…since childhood I was asked to study all the time by my family.… my grandma often quoted this “padhoge likhoge banoge nawab kheloge koodoge banoge kharab!!!”  When we are kids  our parents tell us that these are the foundation years so study hard else you'll be left behind your classmates…..that feeling of being left behind motivated us and we studied harder and harder….Personally I was  really good at drawing and won a number of accolades but had to leave it because of the pressure of studies rather I would say parental pressure as it could hamper my position in class. Then a few more years of study we finally reach CLASS 10^th…boards boards boards….. every second person horrifies us with the idea of board exams…everyone keeps telling us to study as it is the career defining year… after the boards are over we feel chalo bahut hui padhai but then again a sword is hanging on our neck...11^th n 12^th are crucial years as they help us get admission in good colleges. People say once you get through a good college, life becomes easy ,for this good college life we study yet again….but as soon as we reach college we realize all that was said was crap, because if we don't study in college and do not maintain a good CGPA we won't get placed and hence remain unemployed...even when employed we are in a continuous rat race  where everybody wants to push us back, we remain under a constant fear of getting kicked out……soooooo my question is when does life get easy????? 

Indian universities are generally not listed on the global education rankings list and if they do, they appear at very lower positions. Extra-curricular activities matter and maximum Indian students don't pursue any of them because of the pressure of studies created by this vicious system. The fear of scoring low in exams is created by our parents ,due to which we stick to our studies and ignore our interests. Parents should realize there is much more than grades and many professions than they think (Doctors, Engineers ,Chartered Accountants ,Lawyers).

Why cant our parents accept us as Choreographers, Photographers, models, shoe designers, make-up artists .

I don't intend to lessen the impact of education because I too believe that education and knowledge stay with us forever and help us attain heights in our life.
But is it the only way to climb the ladder of success??? Co-curricular is very important for overall development of any individual and therefore they should also be given value  and  attention.
Parents should try and help their children to acquire skills and expertise in the fields they have interest in, be it an academic or a non academic background.

Also the system of education in India like in some top notch universities especially Delhi University has not only created cut throat competition but also has led to suicidal circumstances for students. Colleges are coming up with cut off lists with 98 to 100 %. Isn't this unfair? Does education have this much value only? What should be a student's aim today? To score 100 percent? It is high time that we realize that education is about knowledge and not only about degrees.

It is not success we should run after but instead our goal should be to achieve the best of our capabilities and BE KNOWLEDGEABLE.

As the famous hindi dialogue says :

"Success ke peeche mat bhago , kaabil bano, success toh jhak maarke aaygi"